Ruth A. Oxley of Middletown passed away on Monday.
Her son, Joseph, is the Chairman of the Monmouth County Republican Party.
Ruth was born in the Bronx 81 years ago. She lived in Middletown for 50 years and was the owner of Monmouth Day Camp for 57 years with her surviving husband Joseph T. Together they raised 5 children and touched the lives of thousands more. Ruth’s 12th grandchild is due to Joe and Jackie next month.
Visitation will be Wednesday and Thursday, 2-4 and 7-9 at the John F. Pfleger Funeral home, 115 Tindall Rd., Middletown. A Funeral Liturgy will take place on Friday morning, 10:30, at St. Mary’s Chapel, 26 Leonardville Rd, Middletown.
During the ongoing debate about same sex marriage, in New Jersey and throughout the country, there have been those who have called for government to get out of the marriage business all together.
In New Jersey it is a crime to solemnize a marriage without a license. Anyone who presides over a marriage ceremony for a couple who does not have a license is subject to a $500 fine and up to six months in jail.
Government did not always control marriage, according to Stephanie Coontz, an author who teaches history and and family studies and Evergreen State College in Olympia, WA.
In a November, 2007 OpEd piece published in the New York Times, Taking Marriage Private, Coontz said that for most of Western history, the government was not involved in marriage. Rather than an ‘institution,” marriage was a private contract between families. If parents approved on a marriage, it was valid. Church or State had nothing to do with it.
For 16 centuries the Catholic Church deemed a couple to be married if they said they were. Not until 1215 did the Church deem that a marriage ceremony had to take place in a church in order for a union to be “licit.” Yet couples married illicitly had the same rights and obligations as those who went to the chapel.
Government didn’t get involved until the 16th century in Europe. Coontz says the European laws were, in part, to protect parental control of marriages.
The American colonies required that marriages be registered, but in the mid-19th century state supreme courts ruled that public cohabitation was evidence of a valid marriage. (Who knew that people cohabited publicly back then?)
In the late 19th century the United States began to nullify common-law marriages and control who could be married.
Marriage, and the laws governing it continued to evolve during the 20th century. Interracial marriages were prohibited for whites, then they were allowed again.
As the entitlement culture emerged, marriage licenses became a determining factor in the distribution of benefits, inheritance, and health care. Coontz said this made sense in the 1950’s because almost all adults were married.
But that is no longer the case. When Coontz wrote her OpEd piece in 2007, she said that half of all adults ages 25-29 were unmarried and 40% of American children were born to unmarried parents. Last week, The New York Times reported that as of 2009, 53% of births to American women under 30 were out of wedlock.
As out of wedlock births have become more common the stigma of “illegitimacy” has faded. That’s one reason sited as a cause of the surge in births outside of marriage. Another major reason sited by the mothers The Times interviewed is the government “safety net.”
The Times reporters Jason DeParle and Sabrina Tavernise spoke to dozens of people in Lorain, Ohio, a blue-collar town west of Cleveland where the decline of the married two-parent family has been especially steep, with 63 percent of births to women under 30 occurring outside of marriage. The young parents of Lorain saidtheir reliance on the government safety net encouraged them to stay single and that they didn’t trust their youthful peers to be reliable partners. Many said they would like to be married — just not right now, and not to each other.
It seems pretty clear that government regulating marriage hasn’t worked. It also seems pretty clear that government entitlement programs have taken a massive toll on both the institution of marriage and the institution of family.
In an email sent to his members in the 11th Legislative District this afternoon, Garden State Equality President Steve Goldstein apologized for endorsing Assemblywoman Mary Pat Angelini in last November’s election.
Angelini, who has been very supportive of the gay lobbying group was absent for the Assembly vote on the Marriage Equality and Religious Exemptions Act on Thursday. The bill passed 42-33 with two Democrats voting NO.
Angelini was on vacation, celebrating her 25th wedding anniversary in Jamaica, according to Goldstein’s email.
Goldstein said that he and two other GSE members met with the Assemblywoman on Friday, February 10th in an attempt to persuade her to cut her vacation short in order to be present of the vote. Angelini refused stating that the bill had the votes to pass anyway and in the unexpected event that it failed, it would be voted on again in a matter of weeks.
Goldstein, and “an avalanche of calls and emails” said it did not matter that the bill had enough votes to pass:
Dear members, as so many of you have told us through your avalance of calls and emails, it shouldn’t matter whether or not Mary Pat’s vote was needed. She is elected to vote in the legislature, and certainly elected to vote on the biggest issues of the day – perhaps the biggest issue of all time to so many in her district like you. If you are a public servant, there are absoluely times to have personal lives. Was this really one of them, especially when the legislature will be on break in a month?
Goldstein said that the group was “deeply pained” by Angelini’s absence.
Goldstein said he received more calls and emails filled with “deep pain and anger” than he received after Sean Kean’s 2009 vote against a similar bill and Kean’s “remarkably insensitive speech” about that vote. The calls and emails suggested that GSE extract a written promise from Angelini that she will vote to override Governor Christie’s veto and that she work on other Republican legislators to do the same.
Asked to comment, Angelini said she had not seen the email. MMM forwarded it to her. This post will be update if she comments.
In addition to the comments about Angelini, Goldstein praised Senator Jennifer Beck for her work in support of the gay marriage bill. He also promised to make up for GSE’s endorsement of Angelini to Vin Gopal, one of Angelini’s opponents last November, in his upcoming race against Marlboro Councilman Frank LaRocca for the Monmouth County Democratic Chairmanship.
Reiterates his call for the issue to be decided by the people via referendum
Calls for the establishment of an Ombudsman to enforce the Civil Union Law
Governor Chris Christie sent S-1, the Marriage Equality and Religious Exemptions Act, back to the legislature this afternoon with his conditional veto.
Christie issued the following statement regarding his action:
“Today, I am adhering to what I’ve said since this bill was first introduced – an issue of this magnitude and importance, which requires a constitutional amendment, should be left to the people of New Jersey to decide. I continue to encourage the Legislature to trust the people of New Jersey and seek their input by allowing our citizens to vote on a question that represents a profoundly significant societal change. This is the only path to amend our State Constitution and the best way to resolve the issue of same-sex marriage in our state.
“I have been just as adamant that same-sex couples in a civil union deserve the very same rights and benefits enjoyed by married couples – as well as the strict enforcement of those rights and benefits. Discrimination should not be tolerated and any complaint alleging a violation of a citizen’s right should be investigated and, if appropriate, remedied. To that end, I include in my conditional veto the creation of a strong Ombudsman for Civil Unions to carry on New Jersey’s strong tradition of tolerance and fairness. The Ombudsman will be charged with increasing awareness of the law regarding civil unions, will provide a clear point of contact for those who have questions or concerns and will be required to report any evidence of the law being violated. In this way, we can ensure equal treatment under the law.”
As reported here at MMM last November, Monmouth County Democratic Chairman Vic Scudiery, 78, is not seeking another term.
Scudiery formalized is retirement last week in a letter to the Democratic County Committee.
Congressman Frank Pallone today expressed his regrets that Scudiery is retiring, telling The Asbury Park Press that “I think Vic was going a good job.”
Pallone joined Jon Corzine in asking Scudiery to resign the chairmanship in 2006. Scudiery refused and was reelected twice since.
NJ Supreme Court is end game for Same Sex Marriage Advocates
As expected, the New Jersey Assembly passed the Marriage Equality and Religious Exemptions Act today. The vote was 42-33. No Republican voted for the bill. Two Cape May County Democrats, Nelson Albano and Matthew Milam voted NO, according to NJ.com
The bill passed the Senate last week and now heads to Governor Chris Christie for his expected veto.
Christie has called for the issue to be put to referendum this fall. Senator Christopher “Kip” Bateman has proposed legislation authorizing the referendum.
Senate President Stephen Sweeney has said the referendum legislation will not make it to the Senate floor for a vote.
Christie has said the Democrats handling of the matter is political theater. He told Poltickernj,
“If they don’t put it on the ballot, you’ll know the whole thing was political theater,” Christie said. “I trust the people.”
However, same sex marrige advocates seem to think that legislative passage of the bill will make a difference in their efforts to get the New Jersey Supreme Court to impose same sex marriage in New Jersey regardless of Christie’s veto or whether or not there is a referendum.
In an email to his membership, Steven Goldstein, CEO of Garden State Equality, said,
… Meanwhile, Garden State Equality continues its lawsuit with Lambda Legal –
where courts will now see the legislative intent of marriage equality…
… “Pursuing all roads to justice, Garden State Equality and seven-same sex couples will continue our lawsuit for marriage equality, where we are represented by Lambda Legal and the nationally renowned Gibbons law firm. With this victory, the courts will see the legislature’s clear intent to replace the state’s failed civil union law with marriage equality.”
Ruth A. Oxley of Middletown passed away on Monday. 
