The Suffolk Gazzette is reporting that a seagull swooped from the sky and with one bite of its beak ripped away the right testicle of a UK man who was sunbathing nude in his backyard.
“He woke screaming in agony, and saw the bird flying away with one of his ‘crown jewels’ wedged in its yellow beak,” the English news outlet reported.
My friends at Gunnison Beach and at certain back yards throughout Monmouth County should take precautions.
Manscaping might be a good idea.
A spokesperson for Seagull Watch International speculated that the seagull mistook the man’s testicles for eggs in a nest.
“Eggs are full of protein – it’s why we eat them, after all. Gulls will often steal other birds’ eggs, so it is unfortunate for this man that his private parts resembled a couple of eggs in a nest.”
The man still has one functioning testicle and will be able to father children, according to the report.